Emerson Makes Us A Family

On August 30, 2015 Richard and I attended church like normal not knowing that this service would change our lives forever. When it came time for the prayer requests a lady that attended our church requested prayer for "the baby" and  his situation. After the service we went and spoke to her and learned more. Her daughter's friend had an 8 month old baby boy that she was unable to care for at the time and he needed a place to go. We got in contact with the daughter and she talked to the mother (Christi). She said she had made arrangements with another couple to take him.

It had only been hours since we had learned about his existence but I was devastated. I somehow knew in my heart that he was MY baby. I've heard mother's say that they just knew when they were pregnant. Like they woke up one morning and just knew. I don't know that feeling but I feel like this was similar.

We went about our lives as usual for the rest of that day and the next. But why did it feel like something was missing? Something we had never had but knew in our hearts was supposed to be there. None of us really talked about it but I think everyone was a little disappointed. The guys, of course, said that this was a good thing. We didn't know what we were getting ourselves into but they don't have mother's hearts so we will forgive them for that. 😜

On Tuesday, September 1, 2015 I got off work early (around 1 pm) and was headed home when I got a message from our mutual friend asking if we still wanted the baby. I was elated and terrified but I immediately responded with YES! She put me in contact with Christi, who asked if I could come get him. She was staying at the Women's Shelter in Lake Charles and didn't have transportation. I asked her when she wanted me to come get him and she said as soon as I could get there.

I was working at Bright Beginnings Early Learning Center at this time and knew I'd have to take him to work with me. While conversing with Christi I was also making calls to my boss to see if there was room for him. She and all of my coworkers were wonderful and so supportive! My boss told me that she would do whatever she had to to make room. During all of this I kept calling Richard, who was then working at a plant in Lake Charles, and apparently couldn't hear his phone ringing, so he was clueless that he was becoming a father again. Ha!

It was nearing 5 o'clock by the time I got everything in place to be able to go and my nerves were a wreck. I think I was having all 9 months of pregnancy symptoms in a few hours time...including labor! Okay, so it wasn't that bad but I was becoming a mother! It's a big thing that is happening to you and if that doesn't affect you in some way, you are not human. I was sick to my stomach with terror and excitement. And uncertainty. I knew I already loved him but would he love me? Would I be a good mother? Were we the best choice for his parents? After all we had only been dating/known each other for 5 and a half months!

My mom was working at Methodist Children's Learning Center and was getting off at 5. I still hadn't been able to get a hold of Richard and she had volunteered to go with me and drive. If you know us at all this will tell you what a mess I was. I ALWAYS drive everywhere. So I met her at work and off we went to pick up my baby boy. The drive took forever.....

FINALLY, on the drive, Richard called me back and I told him he was going to be a daddy again. He was skeptical but he had good reason to be. He has an older son with his ex-girlfriend that he is no longer able to see. That was heartbreaking for him and we didn't know how long Emerson was going to be with us. It was very hard for him to go into this knowing there was a high possibility that we would fall in love and get attached to this little guy and he would be taken away too. But when a child needs your help, you help. No matter how much it may hurt you, the child will be hurting more. Though he was skeptical, he was on board but wouldn't be able to make it to pick him up with me.

Mom and I got to the shelter a little after 6 pm and met Christi for the first time. In her arms she had the cutest little boy I had ever laid eyes on.😍 He was flippin perfect! This little duck fuzz covered his head! He had a button nose, big brown eyes, and droopy cheeks hid his neck completely! Two tiny teeth on the bottom were all you could see when he smiled and it was beyond darling. He instantly had my heart and his nana's!! Christi handed him to me and he had that delicious baby smell and squishiness. My heart was a puddle!!

Leaving was hard. Em did fine, but Christi was struggling and who could blame her? Life had not dealt with her kindly and she had nothing to give. She knew she was giving him the best thing for him but that doesn't mean she didn't hurt. Birth mothers get  a bad rap a lot of times because there are some bad ones out there. However, some do it because they can't give the child all that they need and they recognize that. That doesn't make them a bad person. At least not in my book! Without Christi I wouldn't be a mother. I will forever love her and be thankful for the gifts she gave me.

After we left, we met Richard at Long John Silver's. As soon as Emerson saw Richard he jumped out of my arms into his daddy's. It was like he somehow just knew that was his daddy. Richard was done for then and hasn't been the same since! Ha! Emerson won his heart in that one gesture. 🎔

First time meeting Daddy

Christi didn't have much to send with him so when we left LJS's we headed to Walmart in Moss Bluff. Little Emerson fell asleep on the way there. Getting new parents was exhausting for the little guy. All this had happened and he never cried or laughed. He kinda of smiled but there really wasn't a lot of emotion in him at this point. It was heartbreaking...

Sleeping on the way to Walmart

We, obviously, weren't prepared for a baby, AT ALL! Crystal (a lady that goes to church with us and is a long time family friend) loaned us a pack-n-play for him to sleep in and also a huge tub of clothes. We got blankets, formula, bottles,  diapers, wipes, and a few clothes for him at Walmart to get us through the night and next day.

By this time Poppy, who had stayed home with Pawpaw and was not on board with the whole taking in a stranger's baby thing, had fully gotten into the idea of having a grandchild. He called us and asked when we were getting home with his grand baby. 😁 I think once he figured out we were going to go through with it, he was ready to get on with the "Poppy and Pal Adventures"! Ha!

First picture with Poppy

We hadn't said anything to Pawpaw about any of it at all, so he was clueless when we got home with Emmy. We walked in and said "Pawpaw, we got something while we were gone today." He said "Oh yeah?" I said "We got a baby." He came walking in the living room so calmly! I would have been like "WHAT?!" But he just comes walking in and looked at him. Then he said "Well that's a fine specimen." 😂Coming from Pawpaw that was a high compliment!

First picture with Mommy

Hanging out at Poppy's work

The next day I took him to daycare with me. Every one was so supportive and lots brought stuff to help out. One of the girl's grandmother had even heard about him and sent me some clothes! She hadn't even met me at this point. It was overwhelming how much every one helped out in various ways. Katie and Kaitlyn were the teachers in the infant room at the time and they were wonderful with him. And me. It was really hard not having any time to bond with him before having to leave him for work. Even if he was just in the next room! They let me come over on my breaks to spend time with him and that helped so much!

Just being a cutie

A week later(Sept 8th), we met Christi at the attorney's office to have custody papers drawn up. We started with Provisional Custody for a year. What that means is that we had the right to have him treated medically, enroll him in school/daycare, and to discipline him within reason. This didn't take any rights from Christi, as she was willingly giving him to us. Anytime within that year that she felt she was ready to get him back she just had to come get him.

I was scared spitless that whole first year. Christi and I didn't get along at all. To be honest, there were a lot of things I should have done differently. We both felt threatened by the other and just didn't know what to expect. She thought we'd never let her see Emerson again and I thought she'd come take him back after I fell in love with the little munchkin. After we figured each other out and that we COULD do this together, we got along a lot better. 🙂  We would meet her for a visit whenever she would call and ask to see him. It was usually about every other month and it allowed him to develop a stability with us but still be able to see her.

About June or July of 2016 Christi called me one day and asked to see Emerson and said she wanted to talk to us about something. Has anyone ever told you they needed to talk to you then made you wait to find out what it was? Well, I'm an over thinker and this was torture for me. Ha!

I think it was something like two days later that we met her at Wendy's. She told us she had been thinking about things and she felt like we were the right place for Emerson to be. She said that she wanted to sign over her rights and give us sole custody. This was the last thing we expected but we were ecstatic! Sometime in September of 2016 we went to court and were granted sole custody.

Backing up to when we first got Emerson, Richard and I had only been dating for 5 and a half months and Christi didn't want to give us both custody. I'm assuming because she didn't know if we were going to stay together or not. Because of Richard's recent situation with his ex and losing his oldest child, he didn't want to have to go through that again and wanted some legal claim to Em. I wanted that for him as well. We already knew we loved each other and wanted to get married so we decided, why not? Which is why we got married after dating for just 8 months.

After being granted sole custody we didn't see or hear from her for about 18 months. I'm not really sure why. She contacted my mom and asked about Em. Maybe it was too hard for her to have direct contact with me at this point. I don't know. One day after she had messaged Mom and they were talking about Em, Mom asked her if she would be willing to let us adopt Emerson. She said she definitely would and asked for me to contact her. So, I did and I asked her the same thing. She gave me the same answer and told me to get the paperwork started. Just to let her know when and where she needed to be. It ended up she didn't have a ride so we went to pick her up and brought her to the attorney's. She was amazing and cooperative through it all! There was no fight between us, just love. We all felt God's hand in it.

After a few months of fun legal stuff and all that lovely frustration, we finally got a court date. 3 years, almost to the day, after he came to us he finally became Emerson Anthony Marks.🎔

My first picture as Emerson Marks

Judge Anderson

I need to add a little note of thanks to my parents. If it wasn't for them we wouldn't have made it. They supported us in so many way and helped all the time! They helped us find a place to live. I was still living at home when we got Emerson and Richard's place wasn't suitable for a child. They bought him his crib and tons of other things, they're still buying him his other things. Haha! Just countless things they have done for us and we will be forever grateful! Love you both, Mom and Dad!